The Invite

Come on! [he yelled up
to Him] It’s time.
The day is here, and
my head is peeling (slow)
off its
resting place.

drop the rope

Instead of fighting back
I have to drop the rope.
And hand it to
the One
who can wrangle up
that monster
and choke it
until it heaves
great dry breaths
of
desperation.

Out of Control

Journal entry, July 2, 2009

I feel out of control. My pulse is racing. My mind is overwhelmed and I feel as though I want to scream. I don’t want to see anyone. I don’t want to talk to anyone. I just want to sit. To calm myself. To let these feelings wash over me. My phone just rang or buzzed or whatever it does and I want to throw it against the wall until it stops. Unable to resist the urge, I check it.